Early Bed=Early Morning

So all the crying I did yesterday made me exhausted! So at 7:45 after the kiddos were in bed, off I went. But it was not the kind of sleep I was hoping for. I had nightmares about us getting kicked out of our home because the payments have just become too much. My kids would not stop fighting and yelling at each other, and I was still fat.

Well when I woke up reality seemed to match it dead on. At 5:30 am I find Mikey watching T.V.!!! I asked him 'why are you up so early??' And he said 'because I wanted to watch this'. Not 5 minutes later Elizabeth is awake and wants to watch something different. Mikey's show has ended by now , but of course he throws a fit. I tell him "Mikey you just watched your show, now let Elizabeth have a turn" ( at this point I still have no idea why the kids are up so early, but thinking they should still be in bed) He continues to fight it and starts in with his temper tantrums. The uncontrollable on the floor crazed out kind where he loses all self-control. So I send him to his room and he continues with bad choices. He turns on the hall light and the Jack and Jill bathroom light and opens the door to Sarah's room so the light will spill in. She starts and crying and says "Mikey I am sleeping turn off the lights" he chimes back "no Sarah I want them on" So here comes mommy to the rescue to turn off the lights and already in tears because it's 5:30 am and my son is already starting with his bad choices.

I am losing my sanity. Is it my parenting? My girls don't act like this. I have no idea how to change it or what steps to make it go away. I just need it to go away. I am losing any part of myself I used to be. And I am losing the happiness of being a mom. I am lost. So absolutely lost.