Why do others make it look so easy?

As I walk around my son's school and see parents dropping off and picking up, I always say to myself, WOW they make it look so easy. Parents leave the parent/teacher conference's with a huge smile on their face and nodding in agreement about how great it went and how special their child is.

I always ask myself, "Why does their child seem so well rounded?" "Do they never have to yell?" "Does their child just do what is asked of them?"

I am so torn. I am failing as a parent. My child cannot seem to get anything right at school, he doesn't follow a simple direction. I will put him in his room for the rest of the day when he has a bad day and he comes out in less then a minute. Or I will find him hiding in my room watching T.V. I have tried so hard not to yell and to keep my cool, but sometimes it's so hard. I just want him to listen to me. I love him so much. And he really is so sweet. Why can't he be like that all time? Why can't he always be so sweet and gentle. I will see him helping Elizabeth sometimes with something and he is so gentle and patient. When Sarah had a headache he wrote her a note telling her he was sorry she had a headache and wanted her to feel better. Why can't this be him ALL the time??

I don't like that it's easy for others. That their kids just behave. What are they doing right and I am doing wrong?? Someone please tell me. I dread the day that my husband becomes one of those men where as he walks up to the door he double thinks weather he should open it or not. One day he will just stop coming home until the kids are in bed so he no longer has to deal with it.

I feel all alone. And yes I am throwing a pity party. We went to church EVERY Sunday and nothing. We still are struggling financially, my children still won't listen and my husband still looks at pictures of models in bikini's. I have tried everything to make it better and it seems as if nothing is helping and I have no one to talk to. I put on the fake smile and continue with PTO at school and cleaning the house and cooking dinner and doing everything so that my kids will feel loved and my husband won't leave. But in the midst of all of this I feel alone and sad and abandoned.