The Downs Est. 2003

I am trying to navigate through motherhood with grace, dignity and most important SANITY! I don't know how well I am doing?

There are days where I feel like I am getting the hang of this motherhood hobby I have taken on. The kids throw fits and don't do as they are told, but I keep my cool and try to talk to them with reason. Then there are other days where I just end up in my bedroom closet crying so much that the glow on my face is not from being happy but from my face being covered in wet tears. But no matter the day I get up, brush my teeth and on a good day I actually put on clothes instead of staying in my pajamas all day. Now be aware this is about as rare occasion as Rosie O'Donnell turning down food. But it's been known to happen.

In the whole project of turning these adorable little blessings I have into grown people who will soon be able to live on their own, I miss my husband. I miss our alone time. I miss that we never took extravagant trips together or experienced something truly life changing. Ok, ok, ok having a child is life changing, I know, it's just, well. Some people have these extraordinary stories to tell! Trips they took together, things they learned. And they can share it all. Michael and I have great stories about our children and our time with friends but where is OUR time. I wish when we were younger we didn't hang out with our friends so much and we went and did our own things without them. I wish we traveled!! Oh how I wish we traveled. and I could not think of a better person I would want to experience new places or things then with Michael. He is so funny. He keeps me laughing ALL the time. And when I look at him, he still takes my breath away. How did I get such an amazing good looking man?? Me, the bitch that I am.

Michael has this patience about him that I envy. And he see's the good in EVERYTHING!!!! Even in me somehow. I get to the point where I can't even see it in me anymore and doesn't even look like he has to look hard and he finds it and brings it out. I hope our children grow to be the kind of adult he is. I would be the luckiest mother EVER!!! I just wish I could have kept him all to myself a little while longer, but someday we will have our time. Soon, TOO SOON, our kids will be grown and we will have our time. And I know when it comes I will look into his eyes and love him even more then I did the day we got married. I just know it. Michael is like a good wine, he just keeps getting better with age.